I got chris browned last night
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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