erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
