9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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