oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
