OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
