; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
