And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
