it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You have to summon your inner elephant
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
