so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
