I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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