so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
