just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
