What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
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While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
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I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Someone came in the potted fern
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."