So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.