So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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