Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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