Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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