The maid of honor just puked.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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