Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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