The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
