I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
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The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
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I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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