you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
