No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't deserve a penis
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize