If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
