hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
