So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you never un-have a 4some
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
