All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
