just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
