hotel room ftw
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
