wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
