I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
