i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
