Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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