So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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