I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize