I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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