let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
