found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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