the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
