what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
