you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
