1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I got inside last night via doggy door
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
