We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
