Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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