so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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