im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
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I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
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He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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