That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
