Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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