I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Terrible idea I love it
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
