i jhust puked up my retainher.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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