i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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