I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize